Went for interview last Friday,interview was fine not much oso.Jus keep fingers crossed.After tat went home and headed to the doctor cos panting and oso feeling uncomfortable...Doctor said tat im having a panic attack due to stress oso due to the happenings lately.But she did not prescribe any anti-depressant for me yet.But i think i need more rest and think less and i shld b fine...Well i think i shall stop here n continue when i hv thoughts to blog...

Emo post once again

Im back to blog, someone complaint on my taggy asking mi to update so here I am...Dint went anywhere lately accept meeting my frens on weekend or accompany my mum out...Many thing hv yet to settled but the new house we getting will b settling real soon.The first appt. will b on the 29th this mth, will be accompanying mum to HDB HUB to get it done n oso for me to learn some things... While I was on the line wif Hazel today, she told mi she is going to take part in NDP in which helping to do make-up for performers den she told me she register with the sch liao...So I get her helped me called up sch n talk to principle but principle din get back to me, but end up I call up talking to 1 of the admin n she said tat she put my name in n close the registration and this is how i got the project as well...

Now i recalled back, its been mths since I last went clubbing.I missed all the drinking,all the snapping of pics, all the fooling ard n oso miss bumping into my long-lost peeps...But i think i will get back clubbing soon after all my family matters settle,if not club oso no mood....

Its gonna b 49 days soon Daddy will be going on his own to another side of the world,but to be frank I got so many things to tell daddy, so many to ask but I no longer hv the chance...I miss all daddy's nagging, so not used to it without his nagging by my ears.I used to find it irritating but yet now I no longer hv the chance to hear it...Im so sad,Im full of tears,I dunno how or when can I move on.I realli miss Daddy alot..No matter wat, Daddy will always remain in our hearts n greatly remembered...



I oso got hold of the euglogy of Daddy's fren hv written...

Today all of us mourn the passing of a brother-in-arms, a generous friend, and more than anything, a father and a husband who loved his family with all he had.

1. IWO Tan Poh Eng, or Yoko as we know him, was a Commando in every sense of the word: a sincere and loyal friend; a hard working and determined soldier; a fatherly mentor or “大哥” and more importantly, passionate about his proffesion as a military Warrant Officer and Skydiver. He worked hard for what he believed in and possessed vigour for his job throughout his 37 years of service.

a. As one of the earliest members of Parachute Training Wing, Yoko Has been committed to his passion all these years. Beside being a qualified military free-fall instructor, Yoko was also trained in Aerial Delivery in New Zealand. He was a member of the Accuracy Team of the Parachute Training Wing, and has participated in more than 10 National Day Parade Displays as part of the SAF Red Lions team.

b. An incident stands out in my memory: when he was covering the duties of Regimental Sergeant Major, then Commando Training Centre. He took great pains to prepare the NS Battalion for their participation in the National Day Parade, as the supporting contingent, representing the NSmen. His colleagues here today will remember his tireless effort to do his best – a quality which characterized not only his work, but him as a person.

c. His drive to learn was endless, even at the age of 50. He was committed to improving his skills for the organization and displayed great determination in getting himself to be Tandem Master-trained overseas, at his own expense; and sharing his expertise with his colleagues.

2. Yoko was also a generous friend to many, as many here could testify.

a. I know that once, when he had a friend in financial difficulty, he did not hesitate to offer assistance without any expectation for repayment not once but on many occasions. Such small acts marked Yoko’s generosity of spirit more than anything else, in helping a needy friend.

b. As one of the longer-service Warrant Officers of the Commando Formation, Yoko was also mentor to many and friend to all. Those of you seated here today who have had breakfast with him at the Spec Mess Canteen will remember his long-winded but very well-meaning advice: Tan Lee Khoon, Melvin Ho and Toh Keng Seng are some of those in the audience today, indeed a fatherly mentor to all.


3. If skydiving was his lifelong passion, then his two daughters – Phyllicia and Priscilla – were his life. Having left school without substantial qualifications, Yoko wanted to give his daughters the best he could. Generous to a fault, he once paid for a Cosmetic & Makeup course for his daughter despite his initial misgivings – believing that they deserve to pursue opportunities which he never got to enjoy when he was young.

4. Those of you who have been on parachute jumps with Yoko will remember how the only topic he would talk about while waiting for his jump would be his daughters. Perhaps Yoko was happiest then- pursuing one passion while indulging himself in talk about the other.


5. Yoko’s steadfastness and commitment lay not only with the SAF Commandos. In the 1970s, when he was still a junior parachute jump instructor, Yoko befriended a young parachute rigger when he went to return parachutes after a jump one day. This year is Yoko and Hin Lye’s 30th year of marriage. Colleagues who worked with Yoko through the 1980s and 90s will remember how, after his wife Hin Lye had left the military service; he would make the journey from Changi to Balestier everyday, without fail, to take his wife home after work, rain or shine.


6. Just a couple of months ago, Yoko took his wife to Thailand where he combined his passion with his love and took her for a tandem jump descent. This was perhaps just the start – for I know that Yoko wanted dearly to take his wife to see the world after his retirement from military service next year.

7. Members of the Commando Formation will miss the good-nurtured nagging, the guidance and friendship of this “大哥” in being steadfast, hardworking and committed to his job, family and friends. Yoko aspired to be nothing more than ordinary; we only realize the extraordinary impact he has left on us now that he has gone.

Monday Blues

Monday blues... Din went to work cos im dead tired, slept for 1hr jus now but yet im still sleepy...Say me piggy for all i care..I wanna go shopping but i cant at the moment, I got lots of stuffs to get...Argh...I been feeling sick today, stomach dun feel gd tats all..Haiz...i so miss Daddy...I hope daddy will come back into my dreams...I jus detest ppl telling mi how gd or wat so ever their daddy is,Im not saying any1 in particular cos whenever they say so i feel the heartache cos daddy is no longer wif us..SADxx

Din't go to work today as I overslept,woke up at 12 noon.I was so tired as the night before went prawning wif the peeps and the guy brought someone with him whom I totally dislike or shld I say whom I nv expected to appear...Those who dunno who Im referring to nvm its ok...I nv talk to her n him as I dun wan to be frenly wif her n I dun wan to take the initiative to talk 1st cos I dun see the need to do tat...I wanted talk to him but she was there...I noe i wasnt frenly but I nv or wanted to be frenly wif her...Hmmm nth much to updatte...Tml will b going interview...shall keep fingers crossed

* Edited *

Suppose to meet Kev at 7.30pm but i was hell late...Reach le acc him go dinner den wait for the 2 peeps for movie...Watched DRAG ME TO HELL, nice show but it realli scare my me off totally...Can u imagine this is the 1st time even i watch horror movie, I had covered my ears...This is holy but afterall still not bad...After movie programme, dun wanna blog....Nth worth of mi to blog...Jus to get to see someone n oso "THE OTHER ONE (PAST)"....


3 weeks hv passed,I still couldnt get hold of myself and face the fact tat daddy is no longer wif us.Tears always attack me without giving signals,typing this entry via mobile wif watery eyes.I just couldnt control.Later will be meeting the peeps for movie,I hope this helps mi to think less...will be reaching home in ard 15 mins.shal continue later...

Today went to the temple to pay respect to daddy tgt wif sis n her boy, mum n uncle.The moment mum saw Daddy photo, she break down in tears same as sis too but for me I cldnt drop any more tears, thou Im as sad n heartache as them but i wanna appear strong.. Im missing daddy alot alot,I hope daddy can see how we are doing from above.I noe daddy wan us to be strong n move on,but all of us are trying to adapt the majestic changes in life tat left a great impact.I noe its nv easy we gotta try our very best, thou tears will still roll down our cheeks but we gotta go thru this no matter wat.I wish daddy will come into our dreams n tells us how he's doing now n oso his wishes.Typing this entry make mi tear...

I miss daddy alot